The Submissive Husband in a Vanilla Marriage

After a year of  personal cleansing, growth and rejuvenation. My growth and changes were unleashed from a need to forget the bad, learn from the challenges and see life as an opportunity. It is also true, that I had someone in my life, who taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagine and of course realised, I have all the power to pick who is going to be in my life and how.

Coming from this mentality and my interest in FLR ( Female led relationships) there was no doubt that what I wanted and will always want is a submissive male and slaves. A decision I am happy with, also understanding how much patience it takes to find the right slaves and subs. I have tried to date vanilla men or at least that is who they think they are and somehow, I am not able to hide my ways and I don’t really want to. I do have to admit, my excellence in roleplaying a cute female is superb!. I got the skills down and well practised now.

Now down to business. 

Through this dating, playing, searching and experimenting, I had several conversations with married subs who I either trained or talked to. The real truth of a submissive male marrying a girl, who is not dominant and is most likely submissive or just no role identified is slightly worrisome. The stories are painful, but not only painful, they are also outrageous. Many of you out there might not agree with me in some of the facts, I will cover in this blog, however, I don’t need to be married to have an opinion and I will stand by my experiences and conversations.

I personally like the idea of marriage, the idea of a binding contract that will set the rule of engagement straight away and all the benefits it can offer in the long term. Nevertheless, the ideal marriage in my eyes would be based on clear roles and a contract that not only set the right of property, but also the understanding of the relationship, full stop. It is true that for many male subs finding a perfect FLR relationship can be daunting, even more, difficult than a vanilla relationship, I give you that. Yet, still, we see many boys settling to a mediocre life, it is almost out of control and scary.

A submissive male by nature, craves, needs and desires constant control, management, and commands. They are not able to function in a long-term relationship where they have no idea where the relationship is going or even why they are not having sex and not placed in chastity or hurt a little. Their subconscious mind becomes the little abuser, who at the end of the day will also become the dominating persona, due to the lack of authority in their lives.

Vanilla women with submissive tendencies have the honeymoon period extravaganza, which means, they get to have sex more than one a week and enjoy experimenting and experiencing great adventures, until reality hits the door and they notice that their man is not really a dominate mate and they don’t really want to be dominant, but also let’s face it, we can be really lazy when we want to be and the vanilla world can drag us all into the world of lazy obscurity, where putting on a mini-skirt get replaced by baggy pants and messy hair, because, hey! he is married to me, so he got to see me at my worse! (eh! no).

Everything goes downhill from there. Don’t get me wrong, a comfy part of trousers once in a while can be mighty delicious if you are wearing a bikini underneath, but if this is the constant or the norm it also means that sexuality with the boy will also decrease from once a week to one a month to once every three months to never! This makes it even worse for a submissive male because self-chastity will start becoming a norm and looking for others to train them into something they want will be the “new normal”. The epiphany was that in reality males today still believe that marrying the girl next door is the only way to go to be accepted by peers, friends, family and society. Their submissive side is happily agreeing to this pretty prison sentence.

It is imprisonment by committing the crime of cowardliness. It is also true that feeling worthless is also a big issue, but why don’t they try at all, some might ask? why not just wait to stumble into the perfect Mistress and then see what happens. Well, submissive men are natural impulsive, irrational, rebels and live with constant self-doubt. So, in their minds, there is nothing that screams red flag! or in others, everything screams red flags but still want to try the poisons fruit. The worse part is yet to come, once the marriage has extended its shelf life to more than 5 years, the no contact, no sex, no conversation that stimulates, no sexy days become normal and nice. Due to the long history of nothingness, a complaisant state starts to kick in and to avoid the truth as to how their lives are getting sucked out, they describe the marriage as ok, fun, we have a lot of history, it was good once, she is sad or depress, I feel I owe her, blah blah blah.

Lucky is the wife, who has a submissive male who will be a loyal dog for life agreeing to be castrated and submitted to this condemned life. Then one day, boredom hits and the next step is having children into this horrible mix. This is now the final punishment of all. The wife is not happy because she is missing out the bull, the dominate who will pull their hair and spank her hard enough to make her cum and the slave is missing out the keyholder, cleaning duties, erotic punishments and constant commands,due to this abomination of emotional irrationality. Then another problem begins, kids being raised and brought up into broken homes without even knowing it and parents forcing themselves to stay together for the children and a circle begins and multiplies. It is just a disaster.

I have no desire to live my life with mediocracy, besides needing mental stimulation, being aroused by mental control and enjoying controlling my slaves, I want to always have a submissive male to own and transform. Every relationship has its tribulations, but I am sure that having well-defined roles and controlling your property to the principle of your ownership will reduce the intensity of these problems and there is no other way but to move on because Mistress says so.

It is true there are many types of relationships and dynamics, but clarity should always be part of whatever it is you want and whether it is marriage or not, a contract of understanding will always make everything easy, less painful and clear. Rules are meant to be broken but not neglected.

wife 2-horz

“Pictures are a collage of existing images, they are not mine, I have just modified them and change them to my preference”







About Ms Raquel Orchid

I believe in the power of change, changes can only be done if we believe in the positive awareness of the human nature. This blog seeks to help me explore the world of BDSM, fetish and moral righteousness.
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2 Responses to The Submissive Husband in a Vanilla Marriage

  1. dannie1955 says:

    Yeah. In general I agree there should be a sense of clarity in relationships.

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