This journey and virtual penmanship can lead to several hidden unspoken desires. My secret wish and strongest fetish is the mind and how I can lure a mind to my power. It is like holding a skull.
The idea of holding a skull might be terrifying for many, horrible for others and completely delightful for some. But for me, the thought of having a human head over my bare hands seem almost unspeakable fascinating.
It is a taboo and a secret wish from most or the rest of us. Now, I know after reading this line you will think of the darkest most profound sensation you could have ever experience after reading a simple blog or end up with the conclusion that I am just a dark emo psychotic bitch. But for my amusement and your nuances. I am not dark well not entirely and certainly not emo (notice I am not underwriting the “psychotic bitch” part) .
So, why my enchanted desire to think about skulls and bones. Well it is simple, I am having a deep down conversation with my conscious mind. Subconsciously, I have learned that I crave and want odd things, not bad things just odd. See, the brain is the cocoon that protects that magical muscle in which thoughts, dreams and hysteria happens. It is also the place where the power of suggestion and personality stores they hidden true desires. And this why I believe in the power of intention and conversion.
It is commonly believed that no one can change without wanting to change, but I wonder what if you can suggest to a person that change is the only way to truly be powerful and overwhelming connected with their inner true believes.
The tricky question to ask yourself or others might be: what are your (my) true believes, do I have one? Common frame of thought: I only know what I have been thought from an early age, there is no other way to be, right?
All questions pops up in our minds when we hear the word change. Bare in mind though, I am not talking about rebellious behavior or conquests. When you are rebellious you are fighting your nature or an ideology you purposely have deep down created to promote chaos. I might be wrong when I say this but think about it.
If your mother tells you to wash your pants over and over again like a nag with no end, the first thing you would do, is to think of ways to just piss your mother off and disobey. How would you do that? Well simple. You don’t wash your pants, in fact you will grab the pants take them outside and roll them in mud just to make a point. It is nature. We hate change and we are never resilient to being told what to do. This is why children education now are more focus in stimulating and reinforcing not nagging or force. We all rebel against force.
Moving on, lets scratch the word “rebellious” and let’s think about revelations. I am talking about something intensely deeper including everything around us not only our upbringing.
I am talking about the possibility of dreaming and savoring how luxuries it would be to create an orgasmic moment only through your mind. I admit it. I can be very mystical and not many believe in mysticism. Yet, I can almost gamble on the thought that anyone that has found themselves identified in one way or another with the BDSM world, has had this deep down conversations and questions about their desires. Or maybe one day you sat down on a sunny day feeling drips of crystalline water across your face feeling your body tingling, shivering or both for no reason other than just thinking about your skin, or the drop or even that noise you heard once that sounded like an orgasm but it was probably nothing.
Let me share my conscious conversation with a subconscious experience.
Many years ago, I was pretty young then. I enjoyed the thrilled of trees and rivers. I was a completely fanatic for them. I grew up in a tropical country where the heat was all year round. So, getting into a river at 3pm in the afternoon was absolutely normal. Back then, parents were less uptight, at least mine were. I use to love the outdoors. The smell of the rain, trees, wood you name it.
I had this thing or should I say fetish now that I think about, for natural smells and more for rain. Anyway, one day I had this evil spell like I get sometimes now <grins>. And, I wanted to bury something but using wet mud. Yes, I know is gross.
I just had to do it. Yet, I had no idea how would it feel and if I wanted to use my hands to bury the thing or person. So, I made a plan. The plan was to grab a bucket, fill it with water from the river after my almost nude dip and then dig a hole.
Now is 4pm and I am digging a whole with my bare hands when I felt it. It was abnormally seductive. In my mind, the touch of the dirt was making me feel tingly all over my body. I confess thought. I had a phase where I had to eat with my hands, because it made the food taste better. So, yes I might have some Freudian psychological issue somewhere, which doesn’t really bother me.
Keeping on with my story, I was kneeling down playing with mud forgetting completely that the water was beside me and that I was topless in the middle of a jungle-looking place.
The feeling was accelerating and dirty at the same time. I was literally thinking about how nice and shiny my muddy hands looked. It could have been maybe 3 to 4 minutes before I realized that my body was covered with mud and my nipples hard, my body stiffen and shivers. I felt a rush of adrenaline and ecstasy that actually gave me a headache.
Funny enough I experience the headaches now. I enjoy masturbating. Not only because I could be a secret nymph, but for the sensation and how I make it happen. I force myself to headaches. Yes yes! Sounds crazy but they are not bad headaches. See, is that feeling from the woods that create a spark of rush to my brain, well that is what I believe somehow.
It is almost like an electric shock to start your heart again. The headaches are more dizzy feelings, and not painful pins. I don’t need porn or pictures. It is like a mental trance. I think about all the things I would like to feel before I feel them and envision them so intensely. The wonderful part of it all is that after having an orgasm, a quick one usually, my headaches are gone. I am back to normal.
In conclusion, there are many reasons why I long to force others into mental control and psychological retrain, but I think this experience is my number one reason for why I want to share the LOVE. I do believe if you let your mind free from judgements, doubts, fear and many other unnecessary thoughts you seem to have daily. We could all enjoy the pleasures of electric orgasmic conscious sensation.