Virtual domination and submission: Can you be virtually real?

A virtual world is a platform based on an online space where individual around the world can create an “avatar” and become someone else. Some people argue that an avatar can either be 2 things. 1. The real you in the real world or 2. Someone you have created in your mind as an illusion, something you are not or will never be.

I won’t get into the ideology of virtual worlds, because sadly there isn’t enough virtual space or time for me to do so. But, I will say however that the idea of ‘creating an avatar being someone you might never be’ is in fact disputable. My argument is that you can’t be or create what you don’t know, right?  This world has a huge added value, which is the element of anonymity. Anonymity is primetime value in this sort of environment.

This article in particular will be interesting. Because I will share how virtual reality is also taking over BDSM and its lifestyle. Many of you out there can’t relate to this because you have never had a virtual world experience, but others might. The intent through this article is to find a middle point between what is real and how to understand what isn’t. In other words, stimulate tolerance for the unknown.

I will particularly talk about anonymity and voice conversations within the virtual worlds and strangers. But first I will get into, why am interested in the first place?

Last year and the beginning of this year I had the experience of writing a dissertation about virtual reality. However, my thesis was based on the dynamics of productivity. I was able to understand how the interactions in a virtual world can impact a person’s labour skills. This won’t be the topic of today’s article, so DON’T PANIC!!

Through the virtual world travel you have the facility of exchanging “thoughts through speech” voice communication. A fact is there are millions of people around the world engaging in virtual platforms with the access to voice. The chance that someone recognizes your voice is 1 in a million.  So, the question is: why on earth a person would be so fuzzy about having a voice conversation with another stranger. Well, I have decided to call this phenomenon the “Cross-dresser Voice”.

Why did I decide to take a name as cross-dresser to define a virtual world problem? Well, the answer is simple. A lot of the individuals in virtual worlds get a kick from virtual sex also know as pixel sex. You also have vanilla individuals trying to explore in a world they might never dear to do so in real life and above it all, you have men wanting to be females and females wanting to be males. So if you see an avatar with huge tits or someone with a massive cock and all the sudden the voice is way too girly or way too boyish. You might have experience a notorious break of anonymity “rights”.

Yes folks, this actually happens. I have never seen so many dollified blondes in my life with low tone of voices craving dirty slutty sex all at once virtually. I grant that there is some freaky ladies out there, me included. But, I have my days where not even a dog can get close to me and lick my hand. That is called hormones. A man on the other hand, has no knowledge of the idea of hormones let alone what it feels like. So of course, most men “not all” could possibly even like to fuck their own avatar if they could. It is particularly funny.

We have covered a brief part of the sexual interactions in a virtual world. Now we can ask ourselves, if things are so complex in a virtual world, how can BDSM be part of this already mixed up pot?

Virtual domination is very much flexible and it is drawn more towards mental domination and submission and imagination. The reason for the visible use of these techniques is based on the limitations of physical interactions in a virtual platform. And let’s face it there are times when you want to grab some one by the neck and slap them around if they have being way too sassy for your liking or you might be dominating a masochist.

A lot of Master’s and Mistress can’t master the art of mental domination in the virtual world let alone grasp the gender variations. Yet, I believe that some of the reasons why Dominants don’t get virtual BDSM right could be because 1. They don’t like it (yes some don’t like it, but see it as a cool thing to do virtually) 2. Don’t care for it much, 3. Not creative enough or 4. They might have no real experience with real life domination.

Every dominant should already be very clear about how creativity plays a huge part to keep your slave or submissive busy. But imagine how much more it is in a world where you not only have to create a need or crave but also reproduce a feeling. DAMN DIFFICULT!!

For this reason alone it is not effective when some individuals switch sexes virtually and then want to engage in virtual BDSM role-play. It is not the same to train a female, a male or even a transsexual. The way each gender thinks is different. Each group has several different needs. The optimal experience is to have a person forget their virtual barrier and become a real person through sensations and feelings. This understanding right here, is the hardest thing to understand for many people in a virtual BDSM lifestyle. And the main reason why changing sexes might not be the best way to go; this applies for the people who hide their true persona.

In the virtual world I have had the chance to experiment a few concepts and practices. I have realised that not only will people feel offended if you ask them to reveal their true sex in real life but also if they are force to use voice to verify who they are in reality. LOL! I think about this and laugh because, really when we walk in real life and we are asked for our ID, or go to the doctors and we are asked to drop our pants to someone. There is still a level of willingly. We never really say, How dear you, invade my privacy? Do we? We never really think about who is listening to us or looking at us because we condition our minds to think, that whoever is asking for an ID or for us to get naked has the right to ask for those things. We are much more exposed in the real world, but we accept it.

The challenge is to understand that a lot of individuals out there lie to themselves about their sexual urges and true selves. We never expect that our sex needs could affect us 20 years down the line. A lot of this people have real life families and love ones and because of the lack of communication and the shame. They never had the opportunity to express how they truly felt about who they wanted to be. So, why bother with a stranger. The feeling is “I want to get my sex fix and go on with my life”.

I do agree, if that is what you are looking, just sex. Then why the hell have too much conversation. But, if you want someone to serve you or serve, there is a level of trust needed. Lying about who you are won’t really help your trust levels. HOWEVER, bit red lines here! Don’t trust every Jack and Harry out there. You need to choice wisely and be very very picky. If you want sex, then dive in and be as anonymous as you want, but if you want to engage in BDSM play and you don’t trust the person to even tell them your gender, you need to walk away my friend.

Ideally, a virtual platform should be a space to learn more about you but beyond that, it should be an opportunity to surface what is the real problem. And if you have a healthy relationship in real life try even talk to your partner and make him/her understand you are in need of much more than what you have now. People do change and evolve, even though there is many people out there screaming from the top of their lungs that, change is impossible after a certain age. A lot of horsecra…!

Now, am I saying it is easy to have a reality check about who you are? Oh hell no! Every time I realise something new about myself. I go into this deep mental state of desperation and humiliation. I am sort of an OCD (obsessive compulsive Disorder) person with a severe perfectionist trauma. The reason I say perfectionist trauma is because duh! Nothing is perfect, so why the hell do I try to make it all perfect. Folks, I battle with this idea every day of my existence. Am I being better, I think I am. Have I change through the years, OMG you have no idea.

But one thing I know for certain is that I did a good job living my life according to what I had to do. So, I understand things in a different light. I am a dreamy person, and overly impulsive. So, I currently make sure to list the things I want to change and evolve.

Now, this is how a virtual world helps me. I expose myself to different people around the world and I realised that what I know is bird shit literally, excuse my French. But it is the truth. However, for some people it is much more complex.

My final thought is this. Virtual domination can do a lot of good or a lot of bad. It all depends of how you want to really experience it. But if you are about to dominate in a virtual world or be dominated, please be real to whom you are dealing with, because the only person getting really screwed over with it all is the submissive, go figure!!! …..

“I do not think, Sir, you have any right to command me, merely because you are older than I, or because you have seen more of the world than I have; your claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time and experience.”
― Charlotte BrontëJane Eyre


About Ms Raquel Orchid

I believe in the power of change, changes can only be done if we believe in the positive awareness of the human nature. This blog seeks to help me explore the world of BDSM, fetish and moral righteousness.
This entry was posted in D/s Training and Play and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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