BDSM and Psychological Drip Drops

Even though some of us might want to think that feeling crazy or creating our own psychological issues might be engaging and sexy within the BDSM world, I am here to tell you to STOP kidding yourself <grins>. I would want to grab my glasses, put them on and seduce a bit of a geek-freak session to assure you that the correlation between BDSM and madness is relatively slim, awww I know some of you might feel a bit disappointed and even more so if you are actually crazy, since you won’t be able to hide behind the scenes anymore after reading this piece *loud laughs*.

My first question for you readers out there is, have you ever expose your lifestyle to a vanilla mate or someone that has no idea what BDSM means and you get the ahhh? Crazy look after just saying I enjoy control and discipline. I have, many times in fact. I have had the look of someone probably thinking I should get institutionalised for my openness in topics like this in a public area. Luckily, I am not the kind of person that would feel bad because of a nasty or weird look.  I do not get moved by that sort of thing unless you are bending over with your head between your legs and while trying to stare at me with wacky eyes, that might just caused me to shock while laughing hysterically.

Before I considered writing this blog, I was hammering my head about what topics would be appropriate to talk about after my thoughts on rituals and spirituality on my previous post. I wanted something with substance because let’s face it, how else would I expose to the world that behind any Domina and sexual brat there is a brilliant smart powerful being, but no worries, erotic stories and wild seductive descriptions are soon to come as well.

Let’s go back to BDSM and Psychology and for this I will need the help from writers and researchers, who will help me undergo this sort of topic in a painless fashion, which is certainly not common let alone widely accessible. Two gentlemen Barlow and Nathan wrote a handbook of Clinical Psychology. They realised while undergoing their studies that there were real concerns about the BDSM activities and lifestyle.

They stated that “while atypical, it does not appear to be associated with harm (exceptions with asphyxia to enhance arousal and orgasmic intensity with gives a risk of death) …” and they continue describing that a “Person who engages in consensual BDSM practices are vulnerable to stigmatization, even from mental health professionals and some have called for the elimination of sexual sadism and sexual masochism from the DSM, noting that their inclusion as “disorders” may contribute to unnecessary pathologizing and discrimination of BDSM practioners” (Moser & Kleinplatz; Nicolas, 2006 quoted in Barlow and Nathan, 2011).

An extensive and clear understanding of how the BDSM community is been seen within the clinical spectrum. However to be fair I have to say we do have some idiots that would engage in BDSM behaviour to indulge in their deep dark attempt to hide from the world how maniac depressive they might be or even the feeling of repression caused from many years of personal abuse. I will like to take this opportunity to say right now, if you are one of these people, DO NOT use BDSM as an escape route, you will never ever be able to escape your past and cure the deep wounds caused by others. I recommend you seek therapy and professional guidance and once you do and you feel you still wanting to be living the lifestyle in a healthy and balanced manner please come back and do so. Remember you are not hurting the attacker or your pasted ghost you are hurting the person you are with right now.

That said, let us follow through with the stigmatization and discrimination side of things. You should know by now, I love defining things as there are so I will start with discrimination what does this mean? Is an act, treatment or consideration of making a distinction in favour of or against, a person, things, behaviours or practices based on the group, class or category to which a person or things belongs to rather than on the individual merits. Now, I know it is hard very hard not to discriminate, because we are raised with all sort of cultural discrepancies’ and we are all crippled by our surroundings and environment, there isn’t anything we can do to eliminate completely this negative and useless behaviour. On the other hand, we can minimize it, alter it and think about compassion rather than hate. I have found myself kicking myself on the ass when I am being judgemental. It is rare but it happens once in a while. I do merit myself by saying out loud that when I screw up I do make sure I learn from it and never ever do it again and if I do, I make sure I train it out of me or my Dominus will surely whip me out of it somehow lol.

Is perfection I seek? No never, perfection is an imperfect thought. The feeling of wanting to be perfect limits you to try and make mistakes that would force you to be a better individual and learn, PEOPLE the key word here is LEARN. I use to be the kind of mindless bubblehead thinking I should tell the world I am a perfectionist addict, with the ambitions of becoming more perfect, until one day it hits me I was annoying as hell, lol.

Now that we have that clear, would it be safe to say that since we are constantly stigmatized we need to now show the world (and by world I mean your surroundings let’s be realistic), that we can be above and beyond ridiculous ignorance and petty behaviours such as irrational hatred?

The clinical handbook has many different topics, which of course I won’t cover here all at once. I don’t want you to go into literary coma, so for that reason I will only mention some of the interesting topics I thought would be nice to keep in mind and research for personal improvement.

The next topic I found slightly funny was subtitled “ Treatment for Paraphilias” the reason I found this funny is because I have admitted to you my obsessions with mirrors and how that is also known to be a paraphilia, go ahead and read pasted blogs to understand this sentence.  My boys Barlow and Nathans discussed that “persons with paraphilias and/or hypersexual behaviours do not necessarily wish to change their feelings or behaviours…..unless it provokes a crisis … feeling compelled by someone to enter treatment”, my comment on this lies on the reasoning of extreme behaviours and lack of balance. It is true that D/s relationships are not based on equality relationship, let’s face it and be truthful it is not, yet the people involve have decided that this is the best way to live their lives happily and empowered. Nevertheless, it does needs a balance between pleasure, knowledge, nurture, and many others things that will impulse both parties to keep growing as individuals.

The reason I ramble about all, concerns on this: why on earth you would want to have a fetish so deep so hard you can’t function normally within society, and please spare me the whole talk about what is normal and what is not normal, I don’t care for it. Normal for me is the activities and behaviours you abide when dealing with others that are not from your background meeting in a common ground which is the paved jungle.  For instance, what good would it do to me to look at the mirror all day long and just play with my submissive in front of a mirror all day long? Sounds boring!!! Do you see what I mean? Therefore, if you have an obsession with putting a sock on your cock, or pissing on your pants be aware that if you do this all day everyday around others your might just be called a crazy fucker and even get the last bit of “get some help asshole”. If you are into humiliation by all means carry on this behaviour but if you’ re not and want to be walking in public without  feeling like an alien, please be smart about your desires.

Even though this topic is exciting and I could possible go on forever about it, I think it is time to end it here, because I believe in reflection and evaluation. I hope some of you think about your lives, and how your D/s relationships throughout time have grown or become stale, and examine how you can fix it like the rational human being I hope you are. I do recommend that if you don’t fit in with the rational circle, you should tie yourself on to a post and call yourself a wild animal of your preference no Lions or Tigers included we all know there are the kings of the wild lol.

Let’s all be Rationally Crazy and change the way the world view us.

Advertisements

About Ms Raquel Orchid

I believe in the power of change, changes can only be done if we believe in the positive awareness of the human nature. This blog seeks to help me explore the world of BDSM, fetish and moral righteousness.
This entry was posted in D/s Training and Play and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s