“The sense of entering into an altered state — is a primary goal in BDSM. Sex, in many cases, is not”
I have had a concern for the past few years, seeing how BDSM has become an escape for undeserved punishment, misused confinement, abuse and many other negative outbursts within the community, which has created some anxiety in me. At this moment, I wished I kept the several news reports on Masters keeping girls under cellars without consent, or comments of Masters who became a Dom for personal sexual pleasure or of those engaging into some events without consent or even just going too far.
I was barely 19 years old when I first experience something that could be similar to a BDSM lifestyle (apologize to those who don’t like the word lifestyle, it is just easier for better understanding). Back then, I won’t say how many year ago (laughs)! Everything was a thrill and a fantasy but at the same time I always thought that if you were part of something so intense physically and emotionally, there should be some sort of balance in your life, or not?
I keep looking for answers, during my experimental period I met many so called Masters and very few Mistresses, which is still odd to me. There was one Master I talked to recently; he is a bit cheesy and not much of a tough guy. He usually calls himself a protector and a guider rather than a Master or a Dom. He believes in mythological beings and spiritual synergy.
Bottom line is most of the things he talks about were unconventional. You might probably think he is just full of crap or a nut job, right?, for some anyway. He believes in inner strength and connections, and that is the way he chooses his submissive girls, if they don’t believe in spirits and energy he won’t even train them.
Then I had some time to reflect and I have to admit, it took me a while to understand him. I thought he was a complete nutcase. Then, I had the privilege to talk to one of his submissive and I was convinced she was going to be a crazy dreamy girl. I was proved wrong! BIG TIME. This woman was a professional business owner, sharp and smart. And she said to me the minute I said hi, she said, “I know you might think I am weird but my Master is the best I have had in years because he heals me from inside out”
This is just an example as to how BDSM can give you a connection that probably many people will never get in their lives, because in this way of life, as a submissive, you give your all, no reservations to the person you trust the most and vice versa the dedication a Dom/me gives to his/her submissive is complete and extremely thought of and reflected upon.
So I guess this blog entry is based on opinions and personal experiences and believes. I have come to grow in the last few months as an individual living the BDSM life. I use to think BDSM was all about the sex, and kinkiness and fetishes, the wilder the better. But I have come to read some blogs and comments of other people interested in rituals, spiritual connections and personal mental offerings and understood that the real magic of BDSM is what it can do to the people involved. It could offer the sense of family, love, devotion or even regeneration of the self.
Don’t get me wrong know, sex is fun and extremely delicious but without significance or inner and outer placer, it kind of sounds like a waste of time, doesn’t it? The reason I have figure this out, is because the sessions I have had or been a part of that are transcendent and less flesh has been more powerful and meaning all together, changing peoples’ live.
Some of you might find it boring but I think a lot of Dom/me out there are so strict about the collaring rituals, and slave acquisitions terms and conditions, which are very important and even a reward system for their trainees. This arrangement represents the true meaning of a D/s relationship and dynamics. Not everything in life is a contract at least not a written one, but I think what makes people genuine and real is the capacity of keeping their word.
I live by that daily and a lot of the principles in BDSM have ruled my life entirely. The reflections of this blog lies on the idea that if you want to be a Holder (Dom) of someone’s life you have committed yourself to make them powerful, stronger, better individuals and if you believe in the true idea of property then you know that slave/submissive is a direct extension of who you are. Would you like your submissive to reflect anything else?
This world is complex and our BDSM community is even more so, because we fight daily for the rights of living our lives with no judgement, it is slightly unrealistic to think that such world would exist where everybody could stop being intolerant to one another and seize on categorizing normal BDSM behaviour as transgressions.
I think it is time to fight those who miss use the word BDSM to abuse, use, or satisfy themselves with no regards of others because true BDSM practitioner knows it is not a selfish act, but it is more a selfless lifestyle.
What a great way to start the weekend huh?, with a reflective blog and a great intellectual orgasm *grins.
Do a compassionate act today and ask yourself how it felt! … I will!