There was a time when thinking about sexuality and seduction and everything around me seemed just the right amount of wrong and the perfect amount of right. It never crossed my mind that there would be a possibility that being naive and wreck-less could influence how amazingly dizzy I could become when it came down to visualizing myself as a BDSM enthusiastic focused on carnal obscure fetishism.
I am not 100% sure I know what it means to be carnal let alone a fetishist. There are times during my quest that I see a twinkle at the corner of my eyes, wishing to be found and discovered as a strong, free and absolutely peaceful soul with urges my body seem to indulge in without the need of any physical stimulation.
I can’t imagine thinking about fetishes all day long, not as much as I do anyway. It seems that finding new ways to tickle my curiosity is a versatile tool to have inner fun. I remember vaguely, now of course, sitting in my room quietly thinking of how I could improve as an “alpha woman”. Something that is extremely important for me since I have come to discover that is not just a fun, lets run around and “slap some balls” kind of fun. It is a way of life, my way of life.
Anyway, lets go back to the vision of me sitting down at the corner of my bed, a small one at the time I must add, and I get this urge to touch something maybe to create a parallel world that could for one minute, maybe a slip second force me to imagine what would it be like to become a “True Alpha Female”. The first object that came to mind was white latex gloves. “Surprisingly crazy” but yes, those that I use, to help others with hair emergencies or any other emergency, or even getting into “dirty holes”.
Wait, before I get off my zen moment while telling you this revelation, I shall continue my vision. So, I happily hopped a couple of meters only (the room I was in was as tiny as a big shoe box). I slowly draw open the chest dresser and I see a small yellow box filled with latex gloves. I was aware of their existence and I knew I was looking for them specifically but that moment I felt relieved, surprised and overly happy about finding them just by opening a drawer. Once, I have experience that happiness I rushed to wear them and I wiggled my finger like a newborn baby while figuring out that the chill felt down the spine is no longer the womb but an open space she/he had no idea existed.
That moment exactly I felt the true meaning of what fetishism meant, and it spooked me. I am not the scary type, but that day I was scared shit-less. From that day forward I have changed the way I wanted to live life as an “Alpha Woman”. This is the journey I hope to share and enjoy with this blog.
A blog that means nothing but is everything.